Head Lines: The Scoop on the Poop

Greetings again from your guest correspondent now back home in California but still reporting about my experiences of On Delay life.

OK admit it. You want to know how the traveling band and guests deal with the toilet situation. Here’s the scoop.

  • There are 3 toilets (heads) on board. Gayle and Pete have two on their side of the boat. Jane and Tony have one on their side. Visiting friends share toilet and guest bunk of the resident couple.

    This head is very similar to OnDelay’s.

  • Pee and poo from people goes to the place where fish and whales pee and poo: directly into the ocean or sea.
  • Everything that goes into an expensive marine On Delay toilet goes directly into the fish toilet after being macerated by the outflow pump chopper.
  • The above is true even when docked at a marina. Yuck. Do not eat fish caught in a marina.
    Side bar: Marina locals actively requested work scrapping barnacles off boats docked at the marina. Yes, they would do anything to earn a living. This was very humbling. Our hearts went out to them AND they were very happy to have any job.
  • When done with your “business”, press the foot pump to flush the tank then refill with sea water. Flush as many times as needed, then one extra to fill the bowl.
  • Each flush is accompanied by a loud annoying grinding moan. Yes, this means everyone on board knows when you are doing your business.
  • When docked at a marina, all On Delay TP goes into a plastic bag hanging off the sink. When the bag is full, it is taken onshore with the general trash.
  • On Delay residents differ about how to handle TP at sea.
    1. Some believe in placing used TP into the plastic bag and returning the bag to land for final disposal.
    2. Some believe it’s best to put the TP into the toilet for maceration then flushing directly into the sea. If you do this, use no more than 3 sheets/flush.
    3. Some have beliefs falling in between the two options above.
      I opted for the first after trying the second then worrying I might plug the works. Had I done so not only would I have been a bad citizen, but also been the butt of bad jokes.
  • What happens when a swimmer is in the water and and another is in the head? Some kind soul aware of the situation yells to the swimmer, “Stay up front!” Guess where the macerating pump empties.
  • What’s the coolest thing about the head? Seeing sparkly mini shooting star bioluminescent tiny creatures swirling around as the bowl fills after a middle of the night pee. Totally trippy. I had the urge to flush over and over because it was SO COOL. But the repeated annoying toilet moan would have awakened everyone on board. And that would not have been cool.

One thought on “Head Lines: The Scoop on the Poop

  1. I just about peed myself laughing at this. Some may say this was a piece of crap but I say well done on an excellent piece of informative journalism. :)

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